I am so pissed today… I’m in a cranky mood, and I can’t talk about it :( It just makes me mad to be in a bad mood… I’m trying to get over it, but I just can’t. So, I’ll be back tomorrow with a good and happy post. I promise.

And don’t worry, it’s nothing life threatening, nothing with my son, nothing with my friends… in fact, it is almost nothing at all. That is what ticks me off – if it’s nothing, why does it bother me so much?

Happiness is when you come home and open your email to find a facebook message from your 14 year old biological son asking me how I’ve been and saying it’s been too long since we’ve talked.

I truly could’ve cried.

You know, I don’t talk about the fact I gave up a child for adoption that often, but I really should. If there is one thing I have learned (besides the fact that open adoption is the only way to go when considering giving up a child), is that for all the palpable heartache and pain you go through that there really is hope and happiness at the end of it. Once you realize that you have done the best for your child and given him two parents that love him more than anything, a life full of opportunities, and the ability to have a stable and productive home there is just nothing that can make me happier.

For all the regret, sadness, and depression I have felt at times, I realize that there is absolutely nothing that could be less unselfish and more loving that I could have done for him – even if he is a Jets fan :)

Gosh, that just totally made my night.

Remember how excited I was?

Scratch that.

Patriots Nation is in a state of shock, mourning and utter dismay. Football sucks. My season is officially over and I’m going to cry. Yes, cry.

In case you haven’t heard yet, Tom Brady got hurt in the first game, first quarter and according to reports that are coming out right now he is going to be out for the entire season.

A season ending injury in the first quarter of the first game of the year. It can’t get much worse than that :(

Well I can’t say that I’m over the Super Bowl debacle of February. I can’t even say that I’m fully into football this year yet – but I’m trying to get there. This weekend is of course opening weekend of the NFL. The first game was officially last night but due to the fact that the um… stupid stupid team was playing, I decided to forego watching it – especially since when it auto tuned to it I saw them gloating over their trophy and getting their rings and all. Blah!

But still I stay loyal to my Patriots who are playing Kansas City this weekend. I fully expect to go downhill this year – and quickly. Tom Brady is still hurt from what we hear – of course if you know anything about football you know that Bill, our wonderful leader and coach, refuses to say anything about his players so it is a total guess if Tom Brady is up to par this weekend.

Now let’s see, I know we have a Colts fan that reads this blog, I know we have a KC Chiefs fan, I know we have a Green Bay fan… I can’t think of anyone else… remind me again who you like so that I can totally mock you? Just teasing ;) I do like a little friendly competition among blog readers though ;)

EDIT: I don’t know where my mind was! We have a Cowboy fan and an Arizona Cardinal fan as well ;)

Happy football weekend all!! Hope all of your teams win! With the exception of Kansas City of course, hehehehe

Sucked :(

I’m still stunned and left with a headache and a heartache. It was certainly not the outcome that I expected, nor the outcome that I wanted.

18 and 1…nope, it doesn’t sound nearly as good as 19 and 0. I think I’m going to crawl right into bed and sleep until September rolls around. Maybe then I can get over this unreal feeling of losing. Losing the super bowl. The only game we had left to win.

Man, we were having such a good time. I went to a super bowl party at my friend’s house – who by the way, might just be a bigger Patriots fan then me. She is also from Mass and the night couldn’t have been better. We all were decked out with our Pats attire, she had her kids screaming Go Patriots, and there was plenty of food and beer. Nothing could have made it better – and when there was 2:42 seconds left and we scored a touchdown, I thought it was a lock. Sure in the back of my mind there was this nagging feeling that there was too much time left, but I KNEW that it was Tom Brady playing so of course he would win. Only the real Tom Brady didn’t show up – it was a guy who didn’t even look like him. He was nervous, not calm at all, unable to throw a pass to save his life, and generally not the same QB that we had seen throughout the entire season.

Then we had the bad non-call when Manning should have been called down in the grass as he was in being held in the pocket WAY too long. The refs really messed up on that one, but he still ended up getting it off which happened to go to a receiver who bobbled the ball… BUT he fell down on someone which meant he wasn’t down and he then had time to stabilize the ball giving him a catch. We all know what happened from there on out. At 35 seconds when they scored I knew it was over. Brady never showed up for the game, he just didn’t have it.

Now here are all of us Pats fans, sitting here with this overwhelming desire to never watch Sports Center again – or at least until they stop talking about this horrible game… and wondering about what next year holds for us. This one is going to take a long time to get over *sigh*

Well, the time is here to start registering my child for kindergarten. KINDERGARTEN!! Holy shit! Wasn’t it just yesterday I was just giving birth?

I guess not huh? It’s very competitive around here – you have to apply and hope to win this stinking lottery. I haven’t been lucky ever in my life, I can’t imagine that I will be now. I would like him to go to this charter school up the road, but it is very coveted so I’m guessing we won’t get in there, so then I have the choice of a year round magnet school. Rated 9 out of 10 I doubt I’ll be able to get in there… so that leaves the school across the street from my house. Yeah – that one. You know the one – the public school that no one wants to go to, hence why the lotteries are so hard to win. It sucks man, but it is only the first year, and then I can move and go to another school. I’m freaking out a bit though, because I feel like if I make the wrong decision it can affect his education for life. Can one year really do that????

Don’t forget – Sunday – 6:18 I think – Go PATS!!!