I know I said that I was done with my personal blogging and turning it into an all review blog for all the moms that read this… and I am. But first, I must update you.

I have gotten a lot of emails over the past week regarding the status of my “life” so to speak. It is so overwhelming to have so many people who care about my well-being, even if I don’t know you personally. So, I thought that I would give you an update on what has been happening.

As you know, financially, I have been devastated. Eviction proceedings have started and there was no money on the horizon. But… I was given an amazing gift. A gift that I will not squander and more than that I was given an opportunity that I will not squander.

Last Friday I was depressed, sad and had severe anxiety. The jobs I have applied for were given to others, and no one was buying the crap I was selling on Craigslist. I took a few dollars and went down to my local bar that I go to often because I knew a few people there and figured I could try to “pimp” my stuff there. So, I was talking to some friends and telling them a few bits of information about my situation – nothing major. And this guy Mike asked me what I was selling. I told him about selling my Wii as a bundle package with the Wii fit board and all 8 games I have and he called his boss because he said he was looking for one. It was almost a done deal but he was going to call back the next day.

I was uplifted… in my mind I had already sold it and was $350 richer than when I first went to the bar, so I felt a little more positive. They bought me a few drinks and I just left feeling better than I had in weeks. I went home and decided that this was only the beginning and started to write down a plan of action. After I had my plan I made like a board of sorts of what I needed in the next few weeks, what friends I could count on (which was limited let me tell you!), what I would do if I was evicted, the whole thing…

I felt better just making a plan, I felt more positive still and I felt like I was taking control of the situation.

So, I went on the internet, stopping to read my email, and found an email from this old casino I used to gamble at. They were offering me a free $20 to come back and play. I figured what the hell, it was free money. I played for a while not hitting anything, but just sort of forgetting my problems.

Then it happened… I hit and I hit big.

$$6,000+ big.

I immediately looked at what my wagering requirements were and what the max cashout was going to be. Usually it is around 10 times the free chip – or in this case $200 but this time, the max cashout was $5000!!!!!!

So, what did I do? Well, don’t be silly, I cashed out at $5,000 :-)

This morning that withdrawal was approved and it will be in my account by Thursday. Can you believe it? I couldn’t for sure, but it really happened, and it is just THAT cool that it did. I put my positive energy out there and something positive happened to me.

I’m going to pay my rent for a few months, overpay my bills, take care of my car and I’ll still have about $1000 left to get us through a month or more with groceries and so forth. I know it’s not the answer to everything, but I think it is the start of something positive. I have time to find a real job, time to get some work, and some time to just feel less anxiety.

And I really wanted you all to know :-) So, there’s my update – I didn’t want to post it on Facebook, so I hope you read this, and I hope you know how much I appreciate all the well wishes and sympathies I have gotten over the past week. You guys are the best!!!

All of a sudden, and bam! It’s Thursday. That is so unlike me not to post for 5 days!!!!

You know, honestly, I have been on Facebook so much, and sooooo many of you are on there, that I feel like sometimes I know exactly what you are all up to without ever coming here or going to your blogs! And YES, I know that is SOOOOO wrong :-) So, I promise to catch up with you all today.

As for me, I’ve been heavy into getting healthy. That shit takes up a lot of time, lol. Today I get to go twice :-) I have my nutritionist appointment today as well as something else that I can’t remember, and then tonight at 6pm I have a core class I think, 6:30 is group fitness, and then 7:30 it’s group meeting and weigh-in time. That should be fun right :-)

The group aspect of this very expensive Biggest Loser type shindig is quite interesting actually. There is a group meeting every Thursday as well as group fitness so you get to really know the other people in this type of program that I signed up for. Tonight is my first one – talk about anxiety! I’m wicked nervous about meeting everyone, sweating in front of everyone and generally I am feeling like I’m going to be the weakest link. But of course that is so me to think like that!

I don’t know if I ever explained to you all what I am actually doing. It’s called a S.M.A.R.T. program and it is 3 months long. You get a full workup at the doctor’s office, a weekly nutritionist meetup, 1 hour of personal training a week, cooking classes, lots of exercise classes, and full access to the gym itself to go anytime you want. I have been just going and working out with Marla, the woman who has taken me on as sort of a pet project, lol… but yesterday I officially gave them cashola to sign up for this class. To say it is expensive is an understatement… but I saved up for the past 4 weeks for the down payment and then I have like monthly payments… then after the 3 months you can stay on at a reduced rate of $99 a month. The total for the 3 months? $900… but hear me out on this.

Just the personal training alone would cost me $780 at a rate of $60 per week for 13 weeks, so essentially I’m getting all the other stuff for $120 which is a huge discount off of their regular price because thankfully I’m friends with Marla :-). Yes, I know I’m rationalizing, but truly it is an all encompassing type of place, so I get to work on my psychological aspects with food in the group meetings, I get to work with a nutritionist, and I even get to learn how to cook :-) So altogether not bad, and they let me do payment plans which I happen to be quite happy about!

So, for me 5 days a week 2-4 hours a day depending on whether it is group day, it is to the gym, the gym, and more of the gym… which is exactly what I need to get my ass in gear. I learn all the proper aspects of getting healthy with no fad diet pills and all the other stuff that I relied so heavily upon in the past.

And to tell you the truth – I’m quite excited!

So, I’m off to shower and get ready for the gym! Wow… never really thought I’d be happy to say that!

Facebook is a tricky tricky world. It is great for catching up with old friends, seeing the everyday status of your real friends and what they are up to, and to talk to your online friends when you are not busy reading their blogs. But when do you know that enough is enough? When is it time to say goodbye to people you really think you once wanted to talk to or learn about?

Well this morning I went through my entire friends list and had to make that final decision. Would they stay or would they go?

So I started it like this – I made a few lists that people would have to fit into (which by the way I think is one of Facebook’s best ideas yet, to be able to make lists and set the privacy settings according to those lists!).

* Family
* Real World Friends
* Online Friends
* School Friends
* Application Friends (like Mafia Wars)

And if someone didn’t fit nice and neatly into that list, they were out! Simple as that. I actually only removed about 14 people which isn’t too bad… and out of those 14 people, probably 10 of them I couldn’t remember where I met them or what I had them on there for. 4 of those people I either became increasingly annoyed at because they fall into the category of 1) over-poster which means I see WAY too much about their lives all the time, every second of the day or 2) I was just over them… period.

So not too bad on the whole I think!

And when doing the final count, I actually had 2 more Real World Friends than Online Friends so I felt good about that :-) That’s not even counting School Friends, lol… so I felt a sigh of relief that I really don’t just live in the world of computer land and I actually do know people “out there” (you know, in the real world) rather than just knowing people in my little black box that I call my friend :-) And to boot, I only had 6 Mafia War friends that I truly don’t know at all, so really out of my 98 friends, I literally know or would like to think I know from their blogs, 92 people! Not bad at all… considering I’m not a hugely popular person and all, but good enough to say that I do indeed have friends :-)

* The fact that it is Tuesday and Real Housewives of New Jersey is on!

* That the Bachelorette is back on Monday, and I LOVE her

* Losing 5 pounds in 1 week (even though I lost 11 in water weight because of the diuretics) BUT still feeling SOOOOOOOO much better already!

* Never having to watch Adam Lambert on American Idol after tonight

* Having a clean house

* Trading a few of my already used Wii games in for the new EA Active game for the Wii Fit

* Knowing that I’m going to Myrtle Beach in just one short month

* Having wonderful blogging friends like you who stick around even when I don’t have much to say :-)

I almost didn’t believe it myself… when I got up out of my chair, walked downstairs, plugged in the mini-chopper and started beating 2 eggs mixed with onions and tomatoes. I stood there in a moment of shock when I realized that I was…

Cooking. For me. In the morning. Without someone asking me to.

I hate to cook, and I know hate is a strong word, but it is a word that must be used to show my level of disdain when it comes to cooking. Seriously, the only reason I ever do it is for my son… you know, because those darn kids have to eat! And honestly, it has been probably a year at least when I cooked something for breakfast. I’m not kidding you… waffles, toast, cereal, and bagels sure! But cooking an omelet for health and well being? PSHAW!!

But all this exercise and trying to eat right has already gotten me into a different frame of mind. I really wanted to cook a 2 egg omelet and mix it with colorful veggies… except I don’t have have colorful veggies like peppers and stuff, so I settled on onions and tomatoes. To go with it, 1 piece of whole wheat toast with 18g of fiber, and an 8 oz glass of V-8 juice (you know, because I’m still not at the point that I love to eat my veggies yet).

And you know what? It was quite good! I feel full and light and like I did something healthy for myself! It’s a good feeling :-) I’m not sure that this will be an everyday thing, lol, but for today I made a good step :-) Speaking of steps, I’m off to walk!

The power of the internet is great… of course it is wonderful because you can keep up with people and find out information, but it also has one more important feature.

That is the free stuff. I kid you not. There are so many websites out there that offer free things that companies are willing to give you to try. Not even to review, just to try. And I love it! I think you’ll see one of the websites in my bloglines over there —————> I can’t remember the name off hand, but it says something about free stuff… and I go to it every single day to see what wonderful companies are giving away stuff that day. Just this week I got 4 bottles of Aveeno shampoo and conditioner, UnbottleYourTea.com water bottle, a Glade plug-in warmer and scented oil, tomatoes galore, and a really beautiful pocket calendar. And all I have to do is enter my information and they send it!

Getting packages like 4 times a week is such a thrill… I think I’m even more addicted to that then to getting free things, lol. The mailman knows me by name, and he even said to me once “Boy, you must do a lot of online shopping!” I just laughed but really I wanted to tell him, nope… I just spend about 15 mintues a day checking my websites for free stuff and voila! They send it. It’s fabulous.

Anyhow, I’m off to walk now… I’m feeling better already!!

Holy mother of God… I’m in pain.

I had my first personal training session ever and it was a true workout… 20 minutes doing the walk of death, 20 minutes of insanely hard tricep and bicep workouts, and 20 minutes of legs and ab workout… along with a few yoga poses and more than a few squats…you know, just for fun.

I have to say, even though I can’t walk, or type for that matter, it felt really good! I’m really taking my workouts and my eating seriously this time… even as I was doing it, I realized I want to keep doing it (even if I wanted to scream bloody murder at my friend Marla).

It’s cool… a woman that I met at my bus stop for my son got to talking way back in September but just recently “really” talked and although I knew she was a personal trainer I never really broached the subject. Until I went shopping for clothes the other day and realized very quickly that I had gained a lot more than I thought, and couldn’t even fit into clothes that I thought would be way too lose on me. 3 sizes more than I thought later I figured it was time to really flip the switch and start WANTING to lose weight. So, I decided to talk to her, she said she’d give me a free intro workout and then give me a bit of a discount on the rest of them… as long as I agreed to be serious about really wanting and doing something to lose weight.

She helped me plan out some meals, she’s going to go walking with me, and she is intent on helping me do this… and you can’t beat that! So, here I am on my first day of my losing weight adventure, and gawd help me.. i’m dying, lol. But it’s all good because this time I think I’m going to do it right!